


I Don't Want To Go Back Alone

by AnthemGlass



Category: The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth (2011)
Genre: Based on Short Film, High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnthemGlass/pseuds/AnthemGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Marcus, a 15-year-old blind high schooler in a "normal" high school things are confusing enough.  He and his jealous best friend find their world flipped when a new kid joins their class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Go Back Alone

_I Don’t Want To Go Back Alone_

 

_Chunk chunk chunk chunk chunk DING!_

Marcus’s finger maneuvered the braille-printing machine with knowing ease.  The loud metallic sounds of the device no longer bothered the other students who wrote silently at their desks, hard at work on their most recent assignment. 

_DING!_   Marcus reached the end of the page again.  The bell reminded him to reset the line so he could continue typing.  He stared ahead, mind reeling with thoughts.  He tried to slow them down so he could adequately capture them all.

_DING!_ Leonardo, the class clown caught the sights of Gabriel at the sound of the third bell.  Their mischievousness began to take over.  With a knowing nod the two waited for the upcoming bell.

_DING!_

“Elevator!”  Leonardo shouted.

“GOING UP!”  Gabriel finished.

The rest of the class chuckled responding in unison, “FOURTH FLOOR!”

The game that they’d become accustomed to, was to keep track of the bell tones in case either Leonardo or Gabriel shouted the phrase.  The class was usually in sync though sometimes someone would be caught off guard and the joke became even funnier.

Marcus smirked at the class’s relatively normal outburst. 

“That is such a stupid joke!”  Cottia pouted aiming her words at the rest of the class.  “How many times are you going to do it before you realize it isn’t funny?!”

“Let’s settled down you guys.  Enough joking,” Mrs. Giovanna decided to use the interruption to introduce the new student seated just behind Marcus.  “Before class ends how about we meet our new student?  Esca, would you like to introduce yourself?”

Esca’s expression darkened before replying, “No, it’s okay.”  Marcus perked up at the new voice, which was apparently seated directly behind him.  The unusual accent catching his attention.

“Oh come on!  Come up here!”  Mrs. Giovanna smiled.

Esca made his way to the front of the class and stood sheepishly.  “Hi, my name’s Esca…”

“Hi Esca!”  The rest of the class replied in unison as if they were an Alcoholics Anonymous group.

“I just moved here to America…” he continued with only a bit more confidence.  However just then a paper ball came hurtling through the air and nicked him in the cheek causing him to give up on the rest of the introduction. 

The class laughed as it seemed the ball had come from Gabriel’s desk.  “What just happened?”  Marcus whispered to Cottia.

“One of the boys threw a paper ball at Esca,” Cottia replied with distaste for childish antics.  Both chuckled slightly before the bell rang ending class for the day.

“You all will have plenty of time to get to know each other,” Mrs. Giovanna said preparing for the mass exodus of students out of the class. 

The students flooding out kept Esca from being able to make it back to his desk.  He waited patiently as the classroom emptied, leaving only him, Cottia, and the blind boy who had sat in front of him.

Cottia packed her things while Marcus sat patiently.  Once she was ready she tapped his shoulder, “Ready to go?”

Marcus wrapped his right arm into her left and she helped guide him out of the classroom.

Cottia paused in the doorway with Marcus.  Looking back at the new kid who was just finishing up packing his things.

“Do you live up or down the street?”  She asked.  It was a small school in a small town; those were essentially the only choices.

“Up,” Esca replied.

“Do you want to come with us?”  Cottia asked putting on a warm smile.

Esca brightened, “Sure.”

 

*~*~*

 

The three of them chuckled at Esca’s tale of moving van hijinks as they approached a large white gate that led to an apartment building off the sidewalk. 

“Keys Marcus,” Cottia said.  Marcus fished the key ring from his pocket and held it out in front of him.  She grabbed them and unlocked the gate, Marcus would be fine on his own from there.  Honestly he’d be fine without her the whole way home, but it’d been years since he’d actually had to make the trek without her so it was likely a bit daunting.  Opening the gate she gave Marcus a peck on the cheek, “Delivered!”

Marcus stepped into the gate but hesitated a moment.  He outstretched a hand in front of him, “It was nice meeting you Esca.”

“You too, Marcus,” Esca replied shaking his hand.

“Bye,” Marcus smiled as he shut the gate and disappeared inside the apartment building.

“Well bye to you too,” Cottia smiled.

“Don’t you live this way?”  Esca cocked an eyebrow.

“No, I actually live two block back that way,” Cottia pointed the way they’d just walked.  “I always see Marcus home first.”

Esca nodded, “Okay then.  See you at school.”

 

*~*~*

 

Their modest, two-story school building housed the middle and high school students.  Marcus and Cottia never ate in the small cafeteria, instead choosing to lounge on the second floor, sitting against the bannister. 

Today Marcus laid out on the ground while Cottia mindless played with his short, dirty blonde hair, his head resting in her lap. 

“I swear, Karina was totally checking you out!”  Cottia smirked.  “She was the last one to leave the room!”

“You know I’m not interested in her, right?”  Marcus groaned.

Cottia rolled her eyes, “You’re not interested in anyone… well that or you just never tell me!”  She playfully tugged on his hair.  “I’m your best friend!  I should know these things!  I always tell you about the boys I like.”

“It’s been a while since you’ve talked about a guy,” Marcus thought aloud.  “Iago was the last, right?”

“Ugh, what an idiot,” She muttered.

“Sorry to bring it up.  Never mind,” Marcus sighed. 

“Hey,” Marcus didn’t need another word to know who’d just walked up.  “Can I sit with you guys?”

“Sure thing Esca,” Cottia smiled.  She tapped Marcus’s head, “Sit up Marcus.”

“You finding your way around school all right?”  Marcus asked.

“Well I’ve found the library,” Esca replied waving their required reading.  “Did you guys do well on the test?”

“I think so,” Cottia replied with her usual over confidence.  A knowing smirk broke on her face, “Karina, on the other hand, probably not.  She seemed to be… daydreaming.”

Marcus chuckled, “How about you?”  He pulled his knees in closer with his arms interlocked around them.

“I guess so.  I like math,” Esca shrugged.

“Oh, then you should teach Marcus.  He’s terrible at it,” Cottia added.

“Well I’d love to see you solve equations in braille!”  Marcus sobered slightly, he instantly felt self-conscious, not something he was used to.

“Jeez.  Grumpy much?”  Cottia replied.

“It was just a quiz anyway,” Marcus shrugged.

“I can help you next time,” Esca offered.

“You should take it, Marcus.  There’s a test coming up!”  Cottia continued to egg on Marcus.

 

*~*~*

 

Walking home from school, the three felt like they’d been old friends.  Of course that was the case for Marcus and Cottia, but Esca was so welcomed so fast in their pair becoming a group.

“Would you rather step bare foot on an ant nest or…” Cottia paused in thought.  “Have a cockroach climb up your pants?”

“The cockroach!”  Esca laughed.  “I’d just take my pants off!”

Marcus flushed bright red at the thought.  He prayed no one noticed.

Once back at Marcus’s house the three set up shop in Marcus’s room diligently studying for their math test.  Which lasted approximately twenty minutes.  Turns out there are a bunch of fun games to be played when your best friend is blind.

 

*~*~*

 

Marcus and Cottia waited at the railing for their friend.  Marcus had nervously shuffled for the past two minutes wondering how to ask his friend the question that had been bothering him all day.  He hoped he didn’t sound too creepy, or give away his secret.  Figuring if there was anyone in this world he could talk to, it’d be Cottia, he went for it.

“Cottia… what does Esca look like?”  Marcus swallowed.  There… he said it.

“What do you mean?”  She asked.

“His face for a example.”

She closed her book, “Let me think… Esca.  He has brown hair… he’s about my height… his hair is always wild and unkempt.  He’s got sweet eyes, he’s thin, he’s arriving…”

Marcus and Cottia chuckled as Esca strolled up beside them.

“Hey,” Esca flushed as he got the distinct feeling they’d been talking about him.

 

*~*~*

 

“Oi.  Is this where you live Cottia?”  Esca said as they walked home.  She’d mentioned she lived two blocks back from Marcus’s.

“Yeah, in the house across the street, there,” she replied.

“If you want I can walk Marcus home,” Esca tried to sound as natural as possible.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s necessary or anything,” Cottia shifted nervously.

“It’s fine with me,” Marcus shrugged.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Good!  Cause I really have to pee!  Bye you guys!  See you tomorrow!”  She said hoping off towards her home.

Esca felt Marcus grabbing for his arm.  It seemed awkward since he was on the opposite side that Cottia always guided him with.  Marcus only took a second before deciding it was simply too different.  He manhandled the smaller student to his other side and settled in, linking their arms together.

Esca stared at Marcus, suddenly he was nervous about having offered to help guide him.  He felt unready.

“You still there?”  Marcus teased.

“Yeah.”

“You can walk then.”

 

*~*~*

 

“…Archaic period,” Cottia finished reading from the board in Marcus’s ear.

_Chunk chunk chunk chunk_.  He furiously took down the notes as they were orated to him.

Mr. Ribeiro interrupted the class’s note taking session to catch them before the end of class.  “Since we’ve been studying Greece, I’d like you to pair up for an assignment.”

Cottia patted Marcus’s arm excitedly knowing they’d instantly be partners.  Esca hung his head just behind Marcus.

“But girls have to pair up with girls, and boys with boys,” Mr. Ribeiro continued.  Cottia’s expression fell in an instant.  “Guys will write about Sparta and girls about Athens, okay?”

Cottia begrudgingly slid her desk from its place pushed against Marcus’s since she noticed class would be ending. 

Esca excitedly patted Marcus on the shoulder.  Marcus smiled holding his thumb up while Larissa who sat behind Cottia desperately attempted to partner with her.  Larissa would normally be the last one standing in partnering situations.  The special gender rule was her chance to get to a partner early.

 

*~*~*

 

Sitting in their usual spot against the railing Cottia sighed woefully, “Larissa wants to do the assignment at the library.  How about you guys?”  She was obviously hoping for some backup.

“At my house,” Marcus replied.

“All right, good luck,” she sighed as she grabbed her bag and stomped off.

Esca and Marcus sat in mutual silence for a bit before Esca broke it, “Have you always been like that?”

“What do you mean?  Tall and muscular?”  Marcus smiled.  “Or blind?”

Esca chuckled.  “Blind.”

“Since I was born.”

“And, is it okay?”

“Not all the time.  Sometimes I get angry.  But everybody does, I guess?  For one reason or another.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if I was blind.”

“You’d get used to it.  There’re even some advantages.  People do you lots of favors!”

Esca laughed as he picked up the braille version of their reading assignment.  He shut his eyes and laid his head against the railing as he tried to see if he could possibly read the braille like his incredible friend.

“So you’ve never seen Cottia’s face.”

“No I haven’t…”

“She’s funny,” Esca stared at the floor.  Even though he knew Marcus couldn’t see him, he still couldn’t bring himself to look at him while he talked about it.  “I think she likes you.”

“Of course!  She’s my friend,” Marcus sobered slightly.

“No, I mean, she’s into you.”

Marcus tried to laugh it off, “Come on!  No way!”

“The way she looks at you, it seems more than friendship.”

“Just shut it,” Marcus groaned.

Despite the tension Esca pressed on, “How about you?  Are you into her?”  This was the moment Esca felt the most nervous for.

“No.”

Esca tried to hide his smile.  “Got it.”  Esca got up grabbing the trash leftover from both of their snacks.  “I’ll throw this away for you.”

“You see?”

“What?”

“Favors.”

 

*~*~*

 

They entered Marcus’s room, determined to get at least some work done on they’re newly assigned project. 

“Come on in,” Marcus said closely followed by Esca.  Marcus immediately began shucking his shirt.   Esca couldn’t help but stare at his friend as he reached into the closet for a fresh, lighter shirt than their school uniform.

Esca felt like a creep taking advantage of Marcus’s lack of sight, but in his head he legitimized it, if Marcus didn’t want him to see him shirtless he wouldn’t have invited him in before doing it.

“Much better!”  Marcus cheered as he collapsed on his windowsill that he’d converted into a make shift futon with pillows and blankets.

“It’s warm in here,” Esca replied.

“Of course!  You’re wearing a sweatshirt!”  Marcus laughed.

“How do you know what I’m wearing?” 

Marcus laughed, “It’s a mystery.”  The truth had been he’d just been lucky enough to walk home with Esca arm and arm.  Marcus had noticed the distinct presence of the cloth preventing him from the skin-to-skin contact he’d secretly been hoping for.

“Well I’ve taken it off,” Esca said diving into his backpack for toothpaste and a toothbrush.  His mother had warned him that his teeth had to be in perfect shape for the dentist the following day so he wanted to make sure he brushed them at least one extra time.  “Marcus, I need to brush my teeth.  Is there a bathroom I could use?”

“Yeah, third door on the left,” Marcus said as he sat at his computer desk readying them for work on the project.  An alien object was on the back of his chair.  He quickly realized it was the shucked sweatshirt.  He placed it next to the computer keyboard, accidentally covering the toothpaste Esca had just retrieved from his bag.

“On the left?”  Esca asked once more.

“Yep,” Marcus replied.  Esca left without his toothpaste.  Now alone Marcus struggled with that young inner turmoil.  Giving in to his desires he picked up the sweatshirt and pressed it to his face.  Esca smelled so amazing, like fresh spring air and a hint of lavender soap. 

Esca stood silently in the doorway.  He saw his toothpaste on the desk.  And he saw Marcus with his sweatshirt.

 

*~*~*

 

Marcus found himself the next day lying in Cottia’s lap again.  And again she toyed with his hair in her fingers.  Marcus was lost in daydreams that he couldn’t share.

He sat up with a new thought, a new realization that he almost hadn’t thought about.  “Cottia.  Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” she smiled.

“Am I handsome?”

“What?”

“Do people think I’m handsome?  You know… attractive?”

“Well, I think you are,” Cottia said laying on the charm.  In her head she screamed YOU’RE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!

“Okay, but what about other people?”

“I don’t know about other people, you’ll just have to ask them,” she huffed. 

Just then other people walked up. 

“Let’s go?”  Esca asked.

“Sure,” Cottia sighed.

Marcus quickly stood and wrapped his arm in Esca’s.  Cottia stopped in her tracks, staring at the boy who’d stolen her spot on Marcus’s arm.  The tension held for a moment before Marcus decidedly broke it.

“Are you guys there?”

“Yeah… let’s go,” Cottia replied weakly.

“Sweatshirt again, Esca?”

 

*~*~*

 

As the three of them passed by Cottia’s house she asked, “Have you finished the assignment?”  Her jealousy still audible.

“No,” Marcus sighed.  “We’re finishing it today.”

“Okay then.  See you guys tomorrow,” Cottia said giving Marcus a small hug before heading back to her house.

“Two dots before a letter, that means it’s a capital,” Marcus said as they stared at the open braille edition of the book Marcus was studying out of.  “Give me your hand,” Marcus commanded.  He took Esca’s hand in his and guided it along the sentence.  “Temperature of the tropical climate presents variations….”

Both boys felt an electric thrill in their touch.  Neither could seem to break the touch first.

 

*~*~*

 

The next day in class Marcus felt a familiar tingle of electricity when Esca leaned across his desk to whisper in his ear.

“Marcus, I forgot my sweatshirt at your place.”

“Just pick it up after class today.”

“I can’t, I have a dentist appointment.”

“I’ll bring it to school tomorrow then.”

“Okay then.”

After class ended, Esca indeed had to head out quickly.  “Where’s Esca?”  Cottia said reentering the classroom after taking a quick bathroom break before the two left for Marcus’s home.

“Dentist.”

“Ah.   Esca, Esca, Esca…”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Cottia, I need to talk to you.”

“Go for it.”

“No.  Not here.”

“What’s so important you can’t say it here.”

“Never mind.”

“I’m curious.  Come on!  Tell me!”

“Is there anyone around?”

“No everybody has already left,” Cottia said, a brilliant smile breaking on her face as she posed in front of Marcus, hopeful of what she’d hear.  “Go on Marcus.”

He paused for a moment, “I think I’m in love with Esca.”

Cottia’s pose melted as her expression dwindled to regret and disappointment.  She looked to the ground trying to contain her unhappiness.

“Did you hear what I said?”  Marcus’s heart raced with fear.  Had he just made the biggest mistake speaking those unspeakable feelings?

“Yeah I did.  I just… don’t know what to say.”

Marcus paused, “Do you know now?”

“What do you mean by ‘in love’?”

“Like ‘boyfriend’ in love.”

“Gay boyfriend?”

Marcus smiled big, “I guess so.”

The pinging jingle of Cottia’s cell phone interrupted the stinted conversation.  “Oh god!  It’s my Mom!  It’s my grandma’s birthday and we’re having a party this afternoon at her house!  I’ll stop by your house afterwards!  I won’t even eat dessert!  I promise!”

“Okay.”

Cottia ran out of the classroom and Marcus was alone.

 

*~*~*

 

Marcus walked home alone.  It really wasn’t a problem.  It was something he’d done many times.  Nothing like that really limited him.  But being alone with his thoughts.  Being alone and thinking of everything he’d said.  He’d opened something that couldn’t be closed again. 

He sat on his windowsill, nervously shifting, waiting for Cottia to return.  He had to talk to her.  He had to make her understand that nothing had changed.  They were still best friends.  He needed to make sure that he hadn’t messed everything up!

After what seemed to be an eternity of waiting, the doorbell rang.  Cottia’s use of the doorbell seemed to depend on her mood.  She seemed cautious today.  A bad sign for Marcus.

The door to his room opened and Marcus jumped up.

“Cottia!  I can’t believe you left me alone!  I know it’s not easy to hear…” he paused.  “But you didn’t have to keep me waiting!  I bet you ate dessert!  I’ve been asking myself if I should’ve told you I’m in love with Esca…” He groaned.  “You’re already the jealous type.  What will happen now?” 

No answer. 

“Cottia?”

Marcus felt the touch of lips to his.  The feeling was shocking.  Not something he’d felt before.  He’d known of kissing of course, but it was a whole different thing in real life.  He felt his head swim in the depths as if he’d just been thrown in without a life preserver.  What was Cottia thinking?

The door shut and Marcus was alone again.

 

*~*~*

 

Marcus sat on the windowsill again.  He listened to his iPod wondering how he’d ever be able to have a normal conversation with Cottia ever again.  Sure he’d crossed a boundary by telling her about Esca, but she’d crossed a much bigger one.

After at least an hour Marcus’s door opened again.  Marcus jumped at the unexpected sound.

“Marcus, I’m so sorry!  I wanted to come earlier, but my aunts wouldn’t stop singing happy birthday!”  She plopped down on his bed.  “Then they started asking me about school, college…”

Her rambling instantly drowned out like a deafening wave had overtaken Marcus.  He leapt up and quickly made his way to his desk, frantically feeling all around, the desk, the keyboard, the chair.

“Cottia!”

She paused mid-sentence, “What?”

“Do you see a sweatshirt laying around?”

“No,” she shrugged.

“What about under the bed?”

Cottia hung over the edge of the bed, lifting the covers, “Nothing under there.  Marcus, I’m really sorry I left you alone at school…”

Marcus sunk down to sit on his desk, a huge grin settling on his face with the clear new meaning of all that had just happened.

“Are you okay?”  Cottia asked, worried.

Marcus smiled even bigger. 

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the short of the same name (Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho). It's incredible and cute and amazing and I couldn't do it any justice. I just thought it'd be fun to throw Eagle characters in there. All the minor characters are the real names of the characters in the actual short film. I was under the effects of Tequila while writing this so I make no promises on my grammar, punctuation, or anything else for that matter. Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Here's the link to the short film on Vimeo.
> 
> http://vimeo.com/22291398#at=0


End file.
